yescomply

Man, I just thought about it. It’s 3:04. I have 3 hours until I have to leave for work. School’s are getting out soon. What if a kid comes to my door asking for candy? Or worse, what a kid comes with his mom? Would it be appropriate to trick them? They do ask for a trick or a treat. Not many act on the former, but I could.
I would say, “yes, just give me one moment’s time. Delicious candy awaits.” Then I’d sneak out the back door and run like hell. After a good 3 minutes, he’ll ring my bell again, and eventually flee. He’d probably steal some of the patio furniture. I have a chair out there that I found on a street corner, with an envelope attached that read, “FREE.” So I took the chair, and put it in my yard. To avoid any confusion, I added the word, “TIBET.” This way pedestrians don’t break into my yard and steal my chair, thinking that it’s free. Instead, they think it’s a protest chair, and they know I can’t sit in that chair until Tibet is free.
Seriously, though. If a little comes by, I have nothing to offer him but granola bars, ramen or spite. That’s not a type-o (or keyboard-o). It’s not supposed to say, “sprite.” I wouldn’t give a little kid a beverage of lemon-lime, sugar and bubbles. No.
A word of advice. Anyone who dresses as a teacher, is probably a Narc of the candy world. Don’t give him anything that can have you arrested. Don’t accidentally give him the apple with the razor blade inside. It’ll come back to haunt you, in ways you can only imagine.

Good night, moon

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