yescomply

I went to the store for two simple things. Eggs and milk. I just got home, and I have the milk, 2%, but I also have a pumpkin spiced egg nog, 3 bags of candy, a burrito and some sort of rabies. Baby rabies, not full blown rabies.
Allow me to explain:
The pumpkin spiced egg nog was on the shelf next to the milk. It was the last one. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I love pumpkin, I love egg, and I sure as hell love me some nog. This way, I justified it: I got the eggs, just in nog form.
The candy is still half off. YES!
The burrito I bought at taco bell, because I left Walgrees, and realized that I had not purchased any food which I could eat for lunch. I hate taco bell, but I love going there. It’s like revisiting a real complex film. Every time you see something new. Whether it’s disgruntled employees that have run out of options, or disgruntled patrons who want to spend the 20 free minutes they have all day dedicated to eating their Grade D meat and three-fried, refried beans in peace, not on their cell phone with their wives – who they obviously beat on a regular basis (clearly, they’ve run all out of options too).
Today I learned there is a healthy option on the taco bell menu, The Fresco Menu. I know, I know. It’s funny. 9 items under 9 grams of fat. Interesting concept. It’s basically the same old TB menu that we’ve come to hate, but with less beans and more lettuce and tomatoes. Also, in a smaller, more reasonable portion. But if you eat half a dozen of them, the low-fat really doesn’t even matter.
Here are a list of 9 other foods I’d rather eat (all of which are under 9 grams of fat).

My hat.
A mouthful of cat hair.
9 tic tacs (totally 9 calories. Beat that, corporate Mexican food).
A lifetime supply of Tootsie Rolls (as always, a fat free food)
10 fingernails, and 8 toenails (big toes, you don’t want to venture there).
One of those 6 subs from Subway
Butter-less rice krispie treats (screw it, I’ll just eat the marshmallows).
Hardee’s Monster Thickburger (coming in at 1420 calories, it’s not under 9 grams of fat, but it is just barely under 109 grams of fat).

There were a few more things on the list… but I ate them. I’m hungry. I should’ve bought those eggs.
(to find out about the baby rabies, come back tomorrow)